"Lucy" or "The People Who Made this Movie Only Used 10% of Their Brains" (2014): Scarlett Johannesburg plays a lady who doesn’t exhibit emotions and talks in a dull, persistent monotone, or in another words, “the role she was born to play." I don’t really enjoy her actings, but here at least, she doesn’t actually even try to play a recognizable human being, so it’s at least not another Don John situation…? Anyways, this movie is about the scary science fiction concept of a “woman with a fully functioning brain" …? Terrifying. (How is the premise of this movie “empowering”??? I don’t know— it just seems like there’s something NOT OKAY about the whole “what if a lady used her brain all men would have to hide" premise. It’s very "strong female character", that The Ultimate Woman is basically autistic, instead of, like, recognizably feminine…? I don’t know— seemed, like, kinda gross).
She has to interact with Asian Men who are just, like, cartoonishly evil and either/or sexless or rapists. (Until she meets a French guy who she immediately starts making out with…?). But I mean, Luc Besson was impregnating 15-year olds when he was in his 30’s so “his movie wasn’t cool to Asians" isn’t really high-up on his list of bad behavior. And either way, some of his early stuff before he decided he wanted to be the French Robert Rodriguez is pretty decent.
Anyways, this was a pretty fun time at the movies. I don’t think there’s a human being on Earth who can say “I went in with really high expectations and it didn’t meet them" about this movie— I think we all knew what he walked into on this one. It’s 80 minutes of snickering at a movie— I don’t remember having snickered as much at a movie in recent memory, and I don’t remember the people around me laughing AT a movie as much. It’s pretty, pretty dumb. But he at least seemed to have fun with it, Besson. There’s some fun stuff early on with how he edits things together— like, I’m curious how much of the first half of the movie he found in the editing room and how much the way he edited it all together was why he wanted to make the movie to begin with…? He has Morgan Freeman (playing his signature role of "Morgan Freeman wanted some money”, the #1 role of his career) giving the goddamn dumbest lecture I’ve ever heard (total gibberish) for a half hour before his character figures into the plot— and just splices the lecture through scenes of Asian People Being Awful…? I found that pretty fun.
None of it works— the movie has no stakes; the bad guys present no legitimate threat (and exist for no discernible reason past a certain point); the parts I think the movie wanted to be “Trippy” are all generic while the parts that I think would have been fine being generic are actually done more creatively; action is okay, but weightless. But I don’t know— I had a good time laughing at it at least. It was pretty and dumb and kind of laughably impressed with itself. Hating it would be like hating Mario Lopez. I mean, who hates Mario Lopez?? What kind of weirdo is like, “That Mario Lopez rubs me the wrong way I’ve thought about him a lot and you know what people don’t get is blah blah blah”? That’s just not a healthy way to be, brother.